10/20/2009

What is a Bad Date Sheet?

A bad date is someone who offers to pay for sex but is abusive or violent when we’re with them.

A Bad Date Sheet takes your reports of people who beat, kidnapped, robbed, refused to wear condoms, were verbally disrespectful or abusive, refused to pay, forced any kind of sex acts not agreed to, sexually assaulted, or were violent in some way and puts your reports in a monthly booklet so you can get the word out about violent/abusive perpetrators and protect yourself.

What about violent police officers? Yes, we will take reports about law enforcement who verbally abuse, demand sex and refuse to pay, beat, detain to verbally, physically or sexually abuse, rob or take money, refuse to wear condoms, force any kind of sex acts not agreed to, sexually assault, or are violent in some way

What about pimps? Yes, we will take reports about pimps who verbally abuse, beat, kidnap or hold people hostage, rob or take money, refuse to wear condoms, force any kind of sex acts not agreed to, sexually assault, or are violent in some way

Welcome to the Milwaukee Bad Date Sheet website


Please take a look around and offer your suggestions and support!

Milwaukee Resources

Below are some of the Milwaukee organizations that have expressed support for people involved in trading sex for money or survival needs.

Your experiences with each of these resources might be positive or negative depending on what you're looking for, the abilities of the organization, the attitudes and knowledge of individual workers and much more.

Please let us know at mkebaddatesheet@gmail.com about your experiences with these and other organizations. We'd like to tell organizations about what they are doing great and what they need to improve to meet the needs of people in the sex trade.

Benedict Center outreach, support groups and case management for women in conflict with the law

Pathfinders including emergency shelter for 11-17 year old youth, counseling, support for sexually abused youth, case management and supported housing options

Walker's Point Youth and Family Center
including emergency shelter for 11-17 youth, counseling, support for families in crisis, and transitional living programs for teens and young adults
  • Street Beat- street outreach partnership between Pathfinders and Walker's Point Youth and Family Center - look for the Street Beat van!
  • New Drop-in Center for youth 13-24 at 4200 N. Holton. Open Tuesday-Friday 1-9pm, Saturday until 7pm
Franciscan Peacemakers Street Outreach - street outreach to people involved in prostitution

Sexual Assault Treatment Center - Aurora - support services, including medical care, for survivors of rape, incest, sexual abuse and sexual assault

The Healing Center - support services for adult women survivors of sexual abuse and their loved ones

Sojourner Family Peace Center - domestic violence shelter, supportive services, legal advocacy, and more

AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin - comprehensive services for people with HIV
  • Lifepoint - syringe exchange drop in and outreach. Contact ARCW for hours and locations
Anti-Violence Project - MKE LGBT Center - support and advocacy for GLBTQ survivors of violence, including sex workers.

Project Q - groups, case management support and opportunities for GLBTQ youth

FORGE - education, advocacy and support supporting FTMs and SOFFAs

Do you know of an organization that should be on this list? Would your organization like to be on this list? Email us at MkeBadDateSheet@gmail.com

Who can make the report?

Anyone who trades sex or sexual stuff for money, gifts, drugs, or survival needs

Outreach workers and other social service workers **please ask the person who experienced the violence for permission to send to us**

Witnesses to violence against people in the sex trade

Friends, family, and partners of people in the sex trade **please ask the person who experienced the violence for permission to send to us**

How to make a report

We want hear what happened to you in your own words. Your reports are anonymous and confidential. We don't share any identifying details you might share about you. You get to decide how much you want to tell us. Here are a few questions to think about:

When? What time of day was it? Do you remember the date or day of the week?

Where? Did you meet at their house – do you remember the address? Were you in a car – what it did look like, license plate numbers? Were you taken to another location?

Who? Was it a man, woman, trans person? What did they look like – hair, eyes, clothes, height, weight, tattoos? What was the name they used? Was there more than one person?

What happened? Tell us what happened in your own words. Can you repeat parts of the conversation?

About you? If you are ok with it, please tell us a little about you. Are you a woman, man, trans person? About what age are you? How would you describe your cultural/racial background? Are you visiting from another city? Are you ok?

All information you give is helpful. See more possible questions here.

Then choose the easiest way to report:

1. tell the outreach worker who told you about us

2. call our 24 hour voicemail at 414-810-6237

3. send a text to 414-810-6237

4. email us at MkeBadDateSheet@gmail.com

5. make a report here on our website

We'll take the reports and put them into the next monthly booklet.

Who is a Bad Date Sheet for?

A Bad Date Sheet can be helpful for anyone involved in trading sex or sexual stuff for money, gifts, drugs or survival needs. You do not have to identify as a prostitute.

That includes couch surfing youth, exotic dancers, sex workers, adult entertainers, hustlers, AWOL youth, escorts, rent boys, call girls, people who are forced by pimps, webcam performers, porn models and actors/actresses, street workers, trafficked people, homeless and struggling adults, pro-Dom/mes, pro-subs, phone sex workers and more.

All ages, all cultural backgrounds, men, women, transgendered people, all sexual orientations - (str8, gay, lesbian, bisexual, not sure) all sides of town, if you live here or are just visiting, if you think of yourself as in sex trade or if you would never call it that, if you decide to do it or if you’re forced into it.

People get money from sex in many ways. We're not interested in labels - we're just interested in being helpful.

10/19/2009

Why start a Bad Date Sheet in Milwaukee?

This summer in Milwaukee, law enforcement announced the arrest of a man believed to be responsible for at least eight murders of women with histories of prostitution arrests from 1986 to 2007. You can find detailed reports about these cases here.

While Milwaukee news media talked about one serial killer, lost in those reports was the fact that actually 42 women involved in the sex trade were murdered in that 21 year period. The number connected by DNA evidence to one suspect was much smaller. It's hard to decide what is more chilling - a serial killer who went unstopped for 21 years or over 30 individual murderers who each killed one woman - some of whom have also escaped arrest, as the police have noted not all cases have been "cleared," or resulted in an arrest.

The man currently charged in the serial killings had a known history of violence. Before ever murdering anyone, the Journal Sentinel reported that in February of 1985: "(H)e was charged with attacking his girlfriend after accusing her of cheating on him. He punched her repeatedly in the face, pulling out a gun and forcing her to prostitute herself on W. North Ave., the criminal complaint says. Ellis watched from his car as she had sex with seven different men over several hours in a parking lot, according to charging documents. Those charges, too, were dropped. Records don't say why."

As the law enforcement task force on unsolved homicides filled the news, outreach workers and community members - including people currently trading sex for money talked about the ongoing violence towards people involved in the sex trade. People tried to share what they had heard informally and support those who had been assaulted, raped, beaten and abused.

A bad date sheet is a tool to share information about violent perpetrators who target people involved in trading sex or sexual kinds of activities for money and survival. We will collect, share and distribute the reports of violence that we experience and hear.

Just like in the Ellis case, people who commit serious violence like murder often start out with other violent acts. A bad date sheet means someone will have the ability to better avoid people who have committed violent acts in the past.

The Milwaukee Bad Date Sheet is an effort of many of the local organizations committed to supporting youth and adults who sell sex for money and survival. This is a new collaboration and your ideas, suggestions and support are welcome.

10/18/2009

More questions to help make a report

Tell us what happened to you in your own words, as much as you can or feel comfortable telling us. Here are some suggestions to help you remember what happened and let you know what info would be helpful.


When? Do you remember the day, time or day of the week?


Where? Did you meet at their house or apartment? Do you remember the address or cross streets close by? Did you meet on a street – near which streets?

Were you in a car – what it did look like – a truck, minivan, taxi, police car, two-door, four-door? What color? Do you remember all or part of the license plate number? Was it clean or messy? Was there stuff broken on the car? Did the car have a child car seat?

Was it at a hotel room? Did you know them from the neighborhood or through a friend? Did you meet a bar, club or event? Did you meet through the internet? Were you taken to another location?


Who? A man, woman, trans person, not sure? How old do you think they are? Were they white, African-American, Hispanic/Latino, Asian/Pacific Islander, Native American, Biracial, don’t know? Did they speak with an accent? What was their body type: short, tall, thin, medium, fat, muscular or “beefy”? What was their hair like? Short or long? Bald or shaved? Crew cut, curly, dreads, braids, straight? What color was it? Eye color? Did they have glasses? Did they have facial hair? Did they have marks on the body, such as tattoos, scars, birth marks? Where on the body? What was the name or nickname they used? What they do for a living? Did they smoke? Was there more than one person?


What happened? Tell us what happened in your own words. What was the FIRST thing the bad date said to you? (Some bad dates use the same opening line or say the same phrase when out to hurt someone.) If on the internet, what did they write to you? If on the phone, what did they say and what kind of impression did they make on you? Can you repeat parts of the conversation? Was there a weapon involved? Are there any more details? Did you try to report to the police?


About you? If you are ok with it, please tell us a little about you. Are you a woman, man, trans person? How old are you? How would you describe your race/cultural background? Are you visiting from another city? One more thing: Are you or the person you are reporting for okay? If your bad date happened a while ago, we still want to hear it.


You can find this form to download here: http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AeBJE2EfKLwjZGhocTNtenJfMDJkNnc5Y2Zn&hl=en